Going out late

Do I go out or do I stay with kids. This is another tough decision that parents make on a daily basis. I personally think it is a tougher decision for the Father than the Mother.


My reasoning for that is that the Mum usually has the clear expectation to be with the baby especially a newborn,whereas the Dad sometimes has the perceived option to make his own choice. Maybe my perception of reality is different to others.

I personally have a wife who will never tell me not to go out, but leaves the decision to me. Having said that, Marisa often gives me not so subtle hints on what she would like me to do.


The other night we found a nice compromise. A good friend of Marisa's was in town, and took my wonderful wife out to a restaurant and a bar, along with another friend of ours. They were out having a good time for quite a few hours.

Well, come 10.30pm, the nature of being a newborn mother called, and Marisa had to come home to pump out some milk. She then decided it was time for bed, and that she was not going back out. I, however, got a call from Marisa's friend, who it should be noted lived with us for a while in the past, and is a good friend to both of us, asking me to come and join them at the bar.

Of course, my immediate question was, "will this piss off my wife?" This is the 1st question that comes across any husband's mind. The other questions like, "Will the kids be ok?" and "How will I feel tomorrow morning?" are at the back of your mind. The most important question is "will this piss off my wife?"

I spoke to Marisa, who actually encouraged me to go out. I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that with both kids in bed, and a wife on her way to bed, what harm can going out for a drink do? So at 11pm I took off to the bar for maybe 1 drink.

So at 2am, come bar close, we left the local bar, and came back to our house with the sleeping wife and kids and had another drink at home.

After some good late night conversation, I was in bed at 3.30am, thinking, "wow, this tag teaming a night out worked well."

The only problem came at 6.30am when Henry and Gemma were both up crying, and from 3 hours of sleep, my day got started, changing diapers and burping new borns. I didnt exactly feel like a million bucks, but I definitely felt like a sleep deprived Dad. This sleep deprivation, however, was my own doing.

Was it a good choice with young kids to go out for a late night? Probably not healthwise, but did it hurt anything? No, and it was fun for me, a former night owl, to be out late again. However, I would certainly not recommend doing this regularly.

I definitely felt that this was a rare opportunity which presented itself, and would not expect to be out that late again for a long time.

What is the youngest a child should be at a sporting event?

Prior to having children, I always said you should not take a child to a sporting event before they are 5, or old enough to remember. My theory was that any younger, the child gets nothing out of it, and they are just an annoyance to the people around them.

Now I have a 20 month old boy (Henry) and my own eagerness to take my son to his 1st sporting event has overtaken the reasoning I mentioned above.

Today, I am taking Henry to see the Sioux Falls Storm's home opener. It is semi-pro indoor football, but here in Sioux Falls, the Storm are a big deal. They have won 4 consecutive championships. It should be a sold out crowd of 4000 plus today.

I am so excited to take Henry. He loves football. We eat Sunday lunch in front of Vikings games during the season, he loves wearing his purple.

In the back of my mind, however, I keep wondering if it is a good idea going against my original feelings on the minimum age to take kids to a game.

I justify it in my mind by thinking that even if Henry only sits still for half the game (with the aid of snacks and toys) it is still some exlusive time that he and I can spend together without his Mum or newborn sister. I know he will love that. I know he will enjoy the loud noises and introductions. We will have a good time, but I also know that this will be a great memory for me, and Henry will likely never remember it.

Is he too young to go to the game? Am I being selfish taking a 20 month old to a football game? I guess I will find out this afternoon

A Quick Introduction

This is an introduction for anyone who reads this blog who does not know me.

My name is James. I am 29 years old on the day I write this. I live with my wife, Marisa, and my 2 children, Henry (born July 07, 20 months old as I write this entry), and Gemma (born February 09, 1 month old as I write this entry).

Originally from Berkhamsted, England (near London), I have been in the US for 9 years (since January 2000). Having lived in Minneapolis MN, Fargo ND, Grand Forks ND, I currently reside in beautiful Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

I work in Sioux Falls doing a job I enjoy. I am not going to go into detail about my work since it is really not relevent to this blog.

Outside of spending time with the family, my other real passion is sports. I play soccer (real football) once a week, and watch a lot of other sports. Above anything I am a huge Chelsea and Minnesota Vikings fan.

Having recently gone through the transition from Father of 1, to Father of 2, I have noticed a lot of difficult choices that I have had to make as a Dad, and wanted to write about them and share them with the world.