I recently discovered that there is something I need to be a good parent. That something is social time away from my children. For the longest time, I believed that I HAD to be with the kids every free second I had, and that only a bad parent would want to spend time away from their children, especially if they were forced to be away from their kids 8 hours a day or more for work.
I hate to admit this, but I found myself being annoyed at my children for, what I felt like, was them forcing me to spend every spare moment with them.
When I left the room to answer the phone, or ran an errand, or even went upstairs to poop.. I felt guilty.
"This is not how it is meant to be," I thought to myself. After talking things through with my wife, I realized that she always knew something I recently discovered about myself, I need some free time without family to enjoy my time with my family.
I play soccer a couple of times a week, and occasionally go out with friends. On top of that, every couple of weeks Marisa and I get a babysitter and go out as a couple.
Previously I felt horribly guilty whenever I did any of these things, but I have now come to understand that I need to do those things to be happy, and to make sure the kids are happy with me.
Rather than spending a lot of time feeling guilty, I really enjoy my time away from the kids, and it makes me thoroughly appreciate and relish my time with the children. It makes my time with them QUALITY TIME, and I play with them more actively than before. I can tell they appreciate it.
In addition, both kids are excited to have a sitter when Marisa and I go out, which makes us realize they like to see other people too, and are not upset when we leave them with a sitter, as long as it is too often.
I want to make sure that this blog comes across clearly. I love my kids. I love spending time with my kids. I realize that a lot of people love to spend all of their time with their children and hate any separation from them. I admire that, but I know that I personally need to spend time away from them to appreciate being with them. Does this make me a bad parent? I hope not!
I hate to admit this, but I found myself being annoyed at my children for, what I felt like, was them forcing me to spend every spare moment with them.
When I left the room to answer the phone, or ran an errand, or even went upstairs to poop.. I felt guilty.
"This is not how it is meant to be," I thought to myself. After talking things through with my wife, I realized that she always knew something I recently discovered about myself, I need some free time without family to enjoy my time with my family.
I play soccer a couple of times a week, and occasionally go out with friends. On top of that, every couple of weeks Marisa and I get a babysitter and go out as a couple.
Previously I felt horribly guilty whenever I did any of these things, but I have now come to understand that I need to do those things to be happy, and to make sure the kids are happy with me.
Rather than spending a lot of time feeling guilty, I really enjoy my time away from the kids, and it makes me thoroughly appreciate and relish my time with the children. It makes my time with them QUALITY TIME, and I play with them more actively than before. I can tell they appreciate it.
In addition, both kids are excited to have a sitter when Marisa and I go out, which makes us realize they like to see other people too, and are not upset when we leave them with a sitter, as long as it is too often.
I want to make sure that this blog comes across clearly. I love my kids. I love spending time with my kids. I realize that a lot of people love to spend all of their time with their children and hate any separation from them. I admire that, but I know that I personally need to spend time away from them to appreciate being with them. Does this make me a bad parent? I hope not!
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